Postsecret of the week:live

Contrary to this picture, I actually wish I could be going to therapy right now. The only problem with that is one) necessary funds and two) the willpower to make it to appointments. I have neither, but I aspire to someday.

I mentioned briefly to my fiance the possibility of attending Al Anon meetings again. I used to go for the problems I had with Joshua drinking, now I would like to return for my mother’s dependency on drugs. She makes me want to tear my hair out on a regular basis, just thinking of her, let alone actually seeing her.

I’ve been having to drive all over the state of Oklahoma in order to receive care for my many physical ailments. Most commonly, I am sent to the town of Clinton which is about 2 hours away from my home. I have to go all over the place for the free care of the Indian Clinics. They are extremely frustrating because when you’re sick, you’ll call for an appointment and they’re like, “Well we can see you 2-3 weeks from now.” *rolls eyes* Thanks for nothing!!

They have recently sent me to a specialist for one of my issues. I’m expecting to go to another in the near future, a urologist. On Monday, my fiance and I drove out to Lawton, Oklahoma and the whole trip was about a 6 hour process since we did not have a sturdy vehicle to make the trip, I had to borrow my Grandpa’s heavy duty F-350 to make the trip (which guzzles gas like no other.)

When we went to the clinic last week on Thursday, I had a hellacious day. My mother and I made the drive after I’d been awake all night for night audit and she blared the radio the whole way there, 1 1/2 hours. Then when we went to check in, the nurses had the gall to tell me that the doctor couldn’t see me due to an emergency surgery. I drove over an hour to be told the doctor couldn’t see me O_________________o I almost killed someone that day.

Anyway, finally got to see the doctor/OBGYN and I felt a lot better after speaking with him. My primary care doctor acts like my innards are a mystery and she has horrible bed side manner. This doctor seemed familiar with my problem and suggested birth control. He called it Mittelschmerz which is a fancy word for mid-cyclical pain. So next thing I know, I am being reclined on one of the seats in his office and they are numbing my arm up to shove a birth control device in my arm.

I’ve always been hesitant to be on birth control in the past. The only reason I agreed now is because this pain bites it hard. I never felt comfortable altering my hormones, and that is still the case. Let it be said that at the beginning of having this birth control inputted in my arm that I had recently lost 10 lbs and currently weigh 189 lbs. I worry about gaining weight and being an emotional mess- I mean, let’s face it, I don’t need any help in that department >_____>

What element is your love?

Your Love Element is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.

You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.
Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.

Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.

You connect best with: Earth

Avoid: Fire

You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

As for my TV shows, I’m catching up with both Once Upon a Time and The Walking Dead.

TWD: Season 6 spoilers!!!!

MY HEART!!!!!! T0T

My wonderful fiance purchased season 6 for me on Amazon prime. SQUEE!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED. I am even being nice and not jetting ahead of him in episodes. He actually knows more spoilers than I do at this point because he talks about it at work which I WISH I could. Anyway, we just finished watching episode 3 in which A TERRIBLE EVENT OCCURS!!! Look away if you haven’t watched it yet.

Glenn dies!! Because of that fucking pissant Nicholas. I could have told you last season that that asshole would be the death of Glenn. He made a grave mistake by choosing to let the little asshole live. He was trying to be a better person by helping out, which I am semi happy about, but STILL!!!!! My heart hurt so much with the death of Glenn. I immediately thought of Maggie, and she reacted pretty much like I thought she might. She was willing to go and look for him, to help him. I must say I was happily surprised that she is pregnant. At least that much of Glenn will live on *cries buckets*

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