Listen to this song on loop like I have for the past several hours; I’m in fuckin’ love.
- What are your strengths?
I’m a compassionate and open minded person. I’m very laid back so flying by the seat of my pants is usually comfortable to me/I’m flexible enough to adjust when shit gets fucked up.
- What are your short term and long term goals for yourself?
Short term= Get married, improve sex life.
Long term= happily married, own our own house, and fostering young children, maybe working as a stay-at-home writer.
- Who matters most to you?
My lover and my mother, in that order. They both break my heart.
- What are you ashamed of?
I’m ashamed of my parents. I’m ashamed of my own inability to to get off drugs, and also for the fact my parents both have problems with addiction as well. I’m ashamed that I’m occasionally mentally unwell.
- What do you like to do for fun?
I enjoy taking pictures, forcing others to be in them. I enjoy poetry and art.
- What new activities are you interested in or willing to try?
I am playing Pokemon Go which is the newest fad for those of my generation. It’s pretty cool, ngl. Me and Jake had fun hitting all the Poke Stops in the area and meeting other players.
- What are you worried about?
Mostly I am worried about our wedding and the marriage thereafter. I’m also a little worried about my job since a new boss is coming to run the show. (Still glad it’s not me.)
- What are your values? What do you believe in?
Generally, my mission in life is to carry on my grandma’s spirit of grace and generosity. She was a truly classy lady whom everyone loved, and to wind up half the person she was would please me. Only I have a long way to go. . . Spread kindness, practice patience. Be understanding, a rock to lean on. Do not judge others lest ye yourself be judged. Live and Let Live.
- If you could have one wish, what would it be?
I would most certainly wish for my Grandma to be alive. So many things would be different, not so broken anymore. Myself included. Her love was hard to lose. I would do anything to get it back.
- Where do you feel the safest?
Honestly, I really like being in my car all alone. It feels like a space big enough for just me, and I actually enjoyed taking the long trips out to my Indian clinic just because of the solitude. You can sing or scream as loud as you want, it’s your friggin’ space.
- What or who gives me comfort?
I feel comforted when I am with Jacob, and he holds me in his arms and strokes his fingers across my scalp gingerly. The stress just melts out the top of my head, and I feel like I was probably a cat in a past life.
- If you weren’t afraid, you would…..
I would ask Jake’s grandpa for money for the wedding. It would upset both Jake and his Grandpa though, so I feel agitated. I’m sure he’d help if he knew how much I wanted it. But there’s no way to bring it about tactfully!!!
- What is your proudest accomplishment?
I won 2nd place at a DECA state competition once.
- What is your biggest failure?
I didn’t graduate college. I am one class away from it, but it was too hard so I stopped trying. Pitiful *smh*
- What do you like about your job? What do you dislike?
Like= the incentives, the $$$, the people I work with
Dislike=it gets busy/stressful, the hours- my bf gets pissed when I work late
- What does your inner critic say about you?
that’s what I say to it!!! but really it says I’m fat, unhealthy, and crazy. Why is this man marrying me??? I’m going to be a terrible housewife because I already am. Gotta get my shit together.
- What do you do to show yourself self-care?
I need to beef up on this, the only thing I can think of is when I soak my feet in epsom salts after a hard day on them. I need to take better care of myself. But saying a thing is different than actually doing it, I’ve found.
- What are you passionate about?
I do feel pretty passionate about being a professional in the hospitality career. I more so feel a passion for professionalism, and would like to use this for writing to make money someday if I can!
- What is your happiest memory?
I’m glad for everytime I hugged my Grandma’s neck and told her I loved her and appreciated her. I was also very happy on my birthday this year, it was the best one I’ve had in years with absolutely no tears!!! (Very rare)
- What are you grateful for today?
I love my baby. I am more glad than ever to know he loves me and misses me and can’t get enough of me. I know he’s secretly crazy about me, even when he tries to show me he can do without me. No he can’t. I can’t either 🙂