Asphyxiation could’ve been my end

Hubby and I just finished watching this show together. It’s The Voices featuring Ryan Reynolds.

I thought the movie was pretty cool. It said dark comedy and I knew that was right up my alley. For once, Ryan Reynolds didn’t play his standard character. He wasn’t charming and funny, he was awkward and a lot more real. I felt a lot of sympathy towards the serial killer character. They made him so likeable, and just so confused. The cat and dog are like the angel and devil on his shoulders and his only friends. His tragic childhood made him a deranged soul, who didn’t event really register what he was doing. He had a tendency to “put [his victims] out of their misery when they were suffering.” His first kill seemed like an honest accident. He seemed so frantic and confused. It was weird mind fuck kind of movie, I’d recommend it.

It turns out Jake’s job change has been a very stressful transition. He is always stressing and out and telling me he feels like he’s going to have a heart attack. O_o I think he partially blames me. You see, he found out that the hospital has a 3 month probationary period where they can deem you unacceptable and fire you, basically. He is dreading that he won’t have a job in 3 months and is resenting the fact that he left solid pay and easy work at wal mart for a more stressful, professional high-level job than he’s ever had before. He’s pretty much always stressed out now to where he’s unbearable.

First of all, his schedule has changed and we are having our disagreements. Jake and I have always been night owls, staying up until usually anywhere between 5am-7am and then sleeping all day long. Now during his training period, he’s working a regular 9-5 and he wants me to lie down with him around 2 in the morning. Eat, have sex, lay down. I’m used to staying up much longer hours, and I find the transition annoying. I know he only wants to cuddle with me more, but I feel restrained and annoyed. I want to be up, and he can be down. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to change what I’m doing and do exactly what he does. I want to compromise though. We just haven’t figure out a good balance yet.

I admit I haven’t been getting the sleep I should be. Once he leaves early in the morning, my tendency is to be up longer and soak up some me time and forego sleep. I did something really hazardous though due to my lack of sleep.

The other day after he left for work, we were low on groceries so I went to the grocery store to buy a pizza. I then proceeded home where I put it in the oven, and then passed out for 4 hours. When I woke up, there was thick, grey smoke filling half of the trailer. The back hallway and all our clothes and anything fabric smells like shit now. I have been doing laundry steadily all day. I almost friggin killed myself!!!!

It just goes to show me things that are bad for me I need to avoid. It was selfish of me to go and buy that pizza. I never share with Jake, it’s one of my guilty pleasures. I know I’m not supposed to eat bread and I rebel anyway and eat a whole pizza to myself. Except I didn’t that day -____-

Image result for pizza sassy


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