Once upon a time, there was a girl who felt a lot of guilt and pressure.
She sat in her bedroom, knowing that in the next room her mother was sitting there, lonely. Granny had passed away, and that left her mother struggling under the weight of an enormous blanket of depression.
Her mother was not an analytical person, though. She was not an emotionally mature individual. She was woefully emotionally inept at discovering the depths of her own darkness. Her depression was twisted in annoyance and anger. She had emotional outbursts and a lack of patience that astounded.
The girl hated to spent time with her mother. She felt suffocated. Being in that blue and broken down house depressed her worse. Her mother’s words were harsh. They fought- screamed at each other and had shoved each other. They screamed names and hurtful words at each other.
The girl felt utterly controlled by her chaotic mother. She was under her thumb soundly. She snuck out her window in the middle of the night once. She ran away from home and for awhile, every night was a question mark for her. She spent a lot of time roaming the city in her car, using wifi in parking lots or smoking in crowded walmart and target parking lots in the middle of the day.
She lived out of her car. She was promiscuous and split her time with a couple different men. That’s why each night was a question mark- who would she spend the night with tonight, so she wouldn’t have to be alone?
Being alone was terrible. Being alone was unthinkable. All the better to play with men’s hearts- two of her exes. She would stay the night with either of them sometimes, and other nights she was known to spend the night with another ex of hers, a friend with benefits situation. Their relationship lacked any intimacy, they never kissed. They just knew each other’s bodies like the backs of their own hands. She spent time with him to stay high.
In comes the new man of her life, another link on her chain. She thinks they will use each other for a little while and lose touch like so many others. She never dreams that he could become something real. She just wanted to be kissed and held for awhile.
He falls in love with the girl. He invites her into his home and gives her a key. He lets her unpack her drugs and make the place her home, too. He’s the first to say I love you. Most importantly, he takes her away from her mother’s house. He doesn’t like for her to go visit anymore. No longer at her mother’s beck and call.
He buys her earthly goods all girls should have. He buys her clothes and takes care of her. He utterly adores and wants to possess her. He wraps himself around her at night the way she has always craved. He is not afraid of a crazy love, it is something he demands. Now she is under his thumb and out from under her mother’s. She thinks it is better this way.