Not Another GOT post

#yeahitis #getusedtoit #gameofthrones #youwinoryoudie

The worst thing I can do when my husband and I are fighting is to read some Sansan fanfiction from Game of Thrones LOL I love SansaxSandor, that shit is almost canon. I particularly enjoy Modern Era stories of these two where they could hypothetically wind up together legitimately. Some of my favorites;

  1. Wait For Me
  2. Titanic Fic
  3. The Right Number
  4. To Steel
  5. Misconceptions

I have learned to read other Sansa pairings. I originally started off in the fandom shipping SansaxPetyr the most. Over time I started to feel the creepiness of it though and moved away from it.

I like Arya/Gendry fics. I have read both Brienne/Tormund and Brienne/Jamie stories. I am torn between the two. Been reading more of BriennexJamie lately. I am doing a character study on him actually but that is for another time.

I am interested in reading other stories. I have never been a big fan of Danaeryus/Jon in particular but one fic did get my interest piqued.

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It features a Sansa/Jamie relationship aspect that I had not yet entertained. I both love and hate that you can pair Sansa with just about anyone if you put your mind to it. I’ve read a very good immersive tale of Sansa/Tyrion and also Sansa/Stannis. They are featured below;

A Shadow and a Wolf by Gracques
Tyrion Lannister weds Sansa Stark and everything goes as it happened in the show. However, just before Joffrey’s wedding, an unexpected event changes everything. The forced husband and wife will have to go beyond their family loyalties in order to survive and hope to win the game of thrones.

An Inconvenient King

I am interested in reading a more believable version of Sansa/Jamie. Couples I’m not terribly fond of;

SansaxJon *shrug* idk

But I am interested in a version of AryaxJon

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Missing Game of Thrones Already

I can’t wait for the new season of Game of Thrones to come out. I was, of course, devastated when it was announced we won’t see the new season until 2019. In the mean time, I entertain myself with important things like musings about couples and my favorite characters πŸ™‚ I pass the time reading fanfiction and re-watching episodes and favorite scenes. I’m here to share some of my favorites with you! ^_^

Top 3 Female Leads

Brienne- I adore Brienne because of her sense of good character. She values integrity and loyalty. She marches to the beat of her own drum. Her dedication goes beyond the grave. She lives to protect and serve. I kind of think of her as slightly matronly, honestly, when it comes to her two wards. She would do anything for them, sacrifice all for them. They are her sole focus and her determination and resolve are admirable. Her strength is stellar!!! I must have watched her defeat of the Hound a million times, I tell you what!

Dany- I have loved Daenerys since the moment she learned to tame Khal Drogo. Such a clever young woman. She is compassionate and kind, a benevolent leader in all ways. I love her power plays. She single handedly managed to assemble such a well rounded council to help her on her way to the Throne. Watching her finally cross the sea to Westeros was exciting, and the payoff on the scene with the Loot Train was just SPECTACULAR. She’s so brave and smart. Her speeches are motivating and I would have gladly accepted her as my Queen.

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I could rewatch her scenes for hours, but some of my favorites are;

  1. Killing All the Khals & Walking out of the Flames
  2. Her escape on the back of Drogo
  3. the sacking of Astapor and stealing the Unsullied

Arya- Liam Cunngingham has expressed doubts about young girls who regard Arya as a role model. He says she’s a serial killer. That may be so, but has Arya killed anyone who didn’t deserve it? Even when she killed all the Freys, she spared the women. I don’t think it’s fair to say she’s a sociopath or whatever. She has a strong sense of justice and knows the cardinal rule; The North Remembers. She’s more of a kick ass vigilante in my book. An assassin with a conscious. Her moments with the Hound were some of my favorite scenes. Arya is admirable because she’s not afraid to stand alone. Be strong, defend herself, and claim vengeance for her family.

Honorable Mentions;

Margarey & Olenna

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Because she is a bad ass. I also admired Margarey because she was good at manipulation as well. She seemed pretty open minded, too. Very clever.

Top 3 Male Leads

Littlefinger- A villain you love to hate. I had to admire his cunning. He was a master mind of manipulation. Such a useful skill, and it made him very titillating to watch. What would he do next? He is borderline creepy to me, but I also see his appeal at times. I’m both repelled and drawn in by the character. Good acting. One of my favorite scenes is when he kisses Sansa and the aftermath of that decision. Pushing Lysa out the moon door, and then Sansa covering for him. He turns into a dick of course *rolls eyes* Go figure.

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Tormund- He has proven to be one of my favorite male leads! I like his loyalty to Jon and how his people love him and will follow him anywhere. Of course his infatuation with Brienne is making him all the more endearing. I was screaming at the TV when I thought the walkers had him, before Sandor got to him. I was on the edge of my friggin’ seat. I don’t want to lose this character.

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Tyrion- I have enjoyed his wit. Waiting with baited breath for the ending of the honeycomb joke. I was a big fan of him during the time he went to act as the Hand on his father’s behest. I loved him from the moment he slapped his crappy nephew around. He and Cersei are some of the only people to do what we wished we could do lol Brutalize that little bastard haha I thought his wholesome treatment of Sansa during their forced marriage spoke volumes about his character. He didn’t deserve what happened with Shae. I have lost interest in his character now that he is on Dany’s side, but I still admit I admire his strategic mind. Not to mention his friends, Bronn & Podrick.

How is married life treating you?

“Not very well, I’m afraid.”

But you’re not allowed to say that, are you?

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Jake and I have been having a heck of a time in the bedroom. It’s terrible and I just don’t know how to fix it. He regards me as a cold woman and won’t come onto me. He has claimed that I always refuse him, which is not necessarily the case.

I have to come onto him every time, no matter how foul his mood. It’s even worse when he rejects me. We both know I don’t want to do it, but if I don’t “milk him” then his aggression piles up on top of each other every day until he’s downright hostile towards me and the tension in the house could be cut with a knife. I regrettably told a girlfriend the other day, “I should probably be worried my husband knows how much a divorce costs.”

*hangs head in shame* It’s just not going well. We’re both depressed and getting in each other’s way. He wants me to clean house and I want him to leave him be. He doesn’t clean house either, so why don’t we help each other? No, he’d rather play his game which is his form of escape.

But what is he escaping? Me, Us? Are we so horrible? When was the last time we asked ourselves if we were truly happy? We don’t seem happy. He’s always mad at me. His temper is so short. He treats me poorly. I’ve cried to my mother more than I should have about our state of affairs.

Sex is one of the root causes. He says that his only stress release has been turned stressful by me. He no longer wants to even try and salvage our physical intimacy. He never tries to woo me. We barely act like we like each other.

We’ve come to take advantage of each other, and it’s a vicious cycle. He’s mad at me, I’m mad at him for being so emotionally unavailable and unforgiving. He pushes me away and I let him, frustrated and at a lose for what else I should do. I know he doesn’t want to push me away, and I don’t want that either, but he’s so damn prickly it’s like trying to comfort a cactus. How do I soothe his ire when it is directed at me so?

is this my life right now? or is this my life right now? it is

Parting is such sweet sorrow

He’s at work. You know this because you have taken great pains to pay attention to his schedule. He’ll be leaving around 4:30, and it’s 11:00 now. It would be considered nonchalant if she dropped by and brought him food. Men regarded women getting them food warmly, and she was eager for his smiles.

She brought him a subway sandwich she knew he’d enjoy. When he saw her, her pulled her in for a brief hug. It was enough to satiate the yearning inside her enough to almost make her pleasurably sigh in his arms. Almost. She held back, and she smiled up at him, her heart in her eyes.

He never kissed her. They were very careful about that, although the opportunity had come up every now and then. She was sorely tempted. She was smitten, in love. She would take what she could get.

She was married. She should not be craving another man so ardently, but it’s happened. He treated her with such care and friendship it made her ache to be away from him. He listened to her petty woes and concerns and he didn’t get bored talking to her. When they had worked together on calm Sunday nights, he was the one to come and find her. He was the one that kindled their friendship.

Before he came around, she felt a certain distance between herself and her other coworkers. She noticed when her bright and flirtatious coworker Sara was around, people perked up and came visiting at the front desk. When it was just Carmen by herself, she noticed the same people rushed by with things to do rather than stopping to chat with her. Chad was the only one who approached her even though she was standoffish at times.

He lingered by the front desk and wormed his way into her heart. He was such an apt listener, she found herself saying things to him she was afraid to say to anyone else.

She should be able to have such conversations with her husband, but he was uninterested in the things that made her worry through the night. He was quick to soothe her frazzled nerves by telling her it was time for her to smoke, distracting her from the fact he wasn’t willing to share himself with her. He would rather she smoke and fill her head with false pleasure.

Chad listened to her. Chad said uplifting things. Chad was understanding and encouraging. Chad reminded her she had power she’d forgotten she once had. He was nice to her, and he asked her things. He spent time with her and shared himself with her. When she left that job she worked with him, she was dry-eyed with everyone else as she bid her goodbyes. But not him.

It was only Chad that made her weak. She managed to hold back the tears in front of him, just barely. She walked with him out to his car on their final day together, and she slipped him a letter she’d written.

She gave him a heartfelt hug and honestly said, β€œThank you for being a friend to me.” She doubted he had any idea how much that meant to her; it meant the world. She felt wrong telling him goodbye.

When she looked into his face, a flash of everything they could have had in another world came to her. She missed him already, and her arms were still wrapped around him.

Afterwards, he got into his car and she walked away. She didn’t look back as she rounded the corner of the building away from him. Farewell. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn’t hold back her hot tears any longer. Parting was such sweet sorrow.

Why are you comparing yourself to others?

Austin, Billy, & Myself

-Austin got a family and kids
-Billy had the first illegitimate baby
-I’m married, no babies

High School Girlfriends

-Kylie, Married Online Boyfriend
-Christina, Married with Child
-Katie, single
-Elizabeth, in a serious gender fluid relationship
-Melanie, single (?)
-Veronica, engaged to high school sweetheart

Domestic Life & Motherhood

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My body says it wants babies, and I’m all like “sssshhh….”

Things I “have to” do before I can have a baby:

  • Overcome my drug addiction
  • Become a homeowner
  • Finish college program
  • Get job in desired career field
  • Become financially stable

WTF. My body is yelling at meΒ now, not 5-8 years from now. FML.Β I get paranoid. I’m married to an older man. He had a rough childhood, so he doesn’t believe we should have children until we are financially stable and completed everything on that goddamn list. I think he is just trying to time out my biological clock personally. I will be 28 next year. I want to have a kid BEFORE I’m 35, ideally…. within like 30-32 years old.

He says he wants to have kids, but I am afraid he is just telling me what I want to hear. What if he really doesn’t want children? What if he is just saying things and I am wasting time with him?

He assures me he does want my kid. But I don’t believe him. URGH.