Get to Know Me Survey

  • What does your ideal day look like?
    Image result for reading
    An afternoon spent outdoors, reading a book with nowhere to be.
  • What did you want to be when you were younger? A writer, songwriter. When I was really young I wanted to be a singer like Selena 😛
  • Who are you most inspired by? Why? I am inspired by my husband and his pragmatic view on life, and his loving nature. He’s went through a lot but he still helps those who are less fortunate.
  • Who would you love to meet? What would you ask? Harriett Tubman. I would just want to hear more about her experience working for the Union during the Civil War.
  • What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?
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    Smoking would be a good habit to kick for my health. I would like to someday be the type of person who gets exhilarated at the thought of working out. (Currently, that is the not the case.)
  • Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person? In my career, I have found myself thinking of my previous boss Latta lately. I want to be as good at my job as he was. He was a very supportive and cool boss. He got to know you, talked and joked with you, and bought you lunches- sent you on runs when you got stressed and needed to get away. More than anything, he trained you to do your job well so his would be less of a headache. He was an empathetic leader, rather than boss.Image result for leader boss
  • How do you like to relax? Relaxing with soft music and candlelight in the bathtub
  • When was the last time you did something you were afraid of? It was in my career. The last thing I was afraid to do was apply for the front office manager position a few months back. I was terrified because I didn’t really want all the stress that went with all the responsibilities. It worked out for me, because I didn’t get the position. My manager did not feel I was ready, and I hated to agree with her.
  • What are you most proud of? I am proud that my life doesn’t revolve around alcohol and getting fucked up, forgetting myself, anymore. I have moved past that urge and stage of my life, all because of my husband.
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  • What are you most afraid of? Probably being raped, or held up at gunpoint or a scenario where both of these events are likely i.e. the apocalypse or zombies
  • If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing? I would die regretting how things have become between my mother and my self. I can (and am) write a novel about the sorrow and disappointments that we’ve had together.
  • Who would you like to connect (or reconnect) with? Why? I miss my Grandpa. He has always supported me and loved me, even if he doesn’t know me that well. It’s not anyone’s fault, we’re both just busy and the whole family has fallen apart since Granny died.
  • What qualities do you admire in others? Creativity, quirkiness, outgoing behavior
  • What practical skills do you wish you had? I wish that I could master basic cooking and/or baking. Skills in the kitchen would be nice. I would also like to know how to clean and cook fish properly but never done that before.
    Image result for gordon ramsay cooking
  • Imagine you’re in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell? I would tell about the enormously successful life I’d had as a published author and screenwriter and all the money I earned; the nice house I lived in with all my foster children and loving husband.
  • What is your favorite book/movie/song? Why?
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    My favorite book in the entire world is Gone with the Wind. I am rereading it for the 8th year in a row as I do traditionally. These two characters were made for each other in a way that no other two people have ever been. The world that Mitchell created is so immersive and well-crafted. I loved how the characters went so well together and I absolutely loved the character of Melanie Wilkes. She reminded me of my grandma; a great lady. The way that Scarlett changed as the world changed around her was very gripping and hard to put down.
  • If you could make one change in the world, what would it be? I would take down Mcdonalds/discourage widespread commercialism for fast food restaurants/make America slimmer & healthier/make healthy food popular, fast, and easy to get
  • What do you love to do for, or give to others (not an object – something from you personally)? I like to give compliments to people.
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  • What excites you? Art and writing; geeky TV shows
  • What do you wish you did more of? I wish that I worked out more, and worked on my art/collages more often. I am much more creative than I have acted lately.
  • Pretend money is no object. What would you do? Buy a new house and hire a professional decorator to do the house. Build a tree house in the backyard. Get a bitchin’ car. Pay for my mother’s rehab. See a therapist regularly.
  • What area of your life, right now, makes you feel the best? The best section of my life right now is my marriage. My career has been in a rut, and my family life is dismal.
  • Which area makes you feel the worst? Why? The family life is bad, and it’s bad because none of us are putting in any effort. We never try to see each other anymore. We’re all “busy” and we don’t know each other anymore. Splintered, apart. Sad.
  • Let’s jump forward a year. What would you like to have achieved in the past year? I would like to secure a better paying job and tweak my career some. I am open to new avenues and exploring different options. I’d like to have a job that was monday through friday, sitting at a desk somewhere. Making a lot more money, sitting comfy. I want to have gotten rid of a substantial amount of our shared debt.
  • What piece of advice would you give to five year old you? Sixteen year old you? Twenty-one year old you? Right now?
    Five: “Don’t let everyone push you around, you deserve your own opinions just like anyone else.”
    Sixteen: “When Granny goes into surgery, spend more time with your mother. She’s scared and anxious and she just needs you around. Be more patient; go with her to the shops when she goes to look at plants. It doesn’t matter that you hate plants and find it boring. Don’t be an asshole and sit in the car reading manga ignoring her. She needs you, you’re going to be her only person. It feels weird and tense right now, but your rocky relationship with your mother is only going to get worse. She’s going to fail you someday, and you should concentrate on trying not to be so disappointed when it happens. Be strong.”
    Twenty-one: “You’re doing you, just fine! You’re going to look back on these days fondly. But for heaven’s fucking sake, when Joshua comes into your life with his poetry and artistic streak, don’t be tempted. He will ruin you, and there’s nothing beautiful about it. Don’t risk yourself on him. Get back together with Hakim immediately when he asks.” (A Great Regret of My Life)
    Now: “You need to care more about yourself, try harder. It takes effort to maintain a positive attitude, but you can’t afford to let your depression overwhelm you and take control of your life. You’re not your best when you’re depressed, so fight it. Pay attention. Be mindful.”
  • How do you want to be remembered in life? Someday, I want to be the kind of Mom my Granny was to me. I want to love some little light with all my might. I want to love them, praise them, and turn a blind eye to all their faults. I will build them up, make them loved and supported. I want to be the kind of mom that doesn’t have to scold you, the look of disappointment on her face is enough to make you feel ashamed. I want to raise good kids, whether they are my own or not. I just want to share my love and make the world a better place by raising children to be empathetic, kind adults.
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I LOVE CHEAP THRILLS (SURVEY)

Listen to this song on loop like I have for the past several hours; I’m in fuckin’ love.

  1. What are your strengths?
    I’m a compassionate and open minded person. I’m very laid back so flying by the seat of my pants is usually comfortable to me/I’m flexible enough to adjust when shit gets fucked up.
  2. What are your short term and long term goals for yourself?

    Short term= Get married, improve sex life.
    Long term= happily married, own our own house, and fostering young children, maybe working as a stay-at-home writer.
  3. Who matters most to you?
    My lover and my mother, in that order. They both break my heart.
  4. What are you ashamed of?
    I’m ashamed of my parents. I’m ashamed of my own inability to to get off drugs, and also for the fact my parents both have problems with addiction as well. I’m ashamed that I’m occasionally mentally unwell.
  5. What do you like to do for fun?
    I enjoy taking pictures, forcing others to be in them. I enjoy poetry and art.
  6. What new activities are you interested in or willing to try?

    I am playing Pokemon Go which is the newest fad for those of my generation. It’s pretty cool, ngl. Me and Jake had fun hitting all the Poke Stops in the area and meeting other players.
  7. What are you worried about?
    Mostly I am worried about our wedding and the marriage thereafter. I’m also a little worried about my job since a new boss is coming to run the show. (Still glad it’s not me.)
  8. What are your values? What do you believe in?

    Generally, my mission in life is to carry on my grandma’s spirit of grace and generosity. She was a truly classy lady whom everyone loved, and to wind up half the person she was would please me. Only I have a long way to go. . . Spread kindness, practice patience. Be understanding, a rock to lean on. Do not judge others lest ye yourself be judged. Live and Let Live.

  9. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
    I would most certainly wish for my Grandma to be alive. So many things would be different, not so broken anymore. Myself included. Her love was hard to lose. I would do anything to get it back.
  10. Where do you feel the safest?
    Honestly, I really like being in my car all alone. It feels like a space big enough for just me, and I actually enjoyed taking the long trips out to my Indian clinic just because of the solitude. You can sing or scream as loud as you want, it’s your friggin’ space.
  11. What or who gives me comfort?
    I feel comforted when I am with Jacob, and he holds me in his arms and strokes his fingers across my scalp gingerly. The stress just melts out the top of my head, and I feel like I was probably a cat in a past life.
  12. If you weren’t afraid, you would…..
    I would ask Jake’s grandpa for money for the wedding. It would upset both Jake and his Grandpa though, so I feel agitated. I’m sure he’d help if he knew how much I wanted it. But there’s no way to bring it about tactfully!!!
  13. What is your proudest accomplishment?
    I won 2nd place at a DECA state competition once.
  14. What is your biggest failure?
    I didn’t graduate college. I am one class away from it, but it was too hard so I stopped trying. Pitiful *smh*
  15. What do you like about your job? What do you dislike?
    Like= the incentives, the $$$, the people I work with
    Dislike=it gets busy/stressful, the hours- my bf gets pissed when I work late
  16. What does your inner critic say about you?

    that’s what I say to it!!! but really it says I’m fat, unhealthy, and crazy. Why is this man marrying me??? I’m going to be a terrible housewife because I already am. Gotta get my shit together.
  17. What do you do to show yourself self-care?
    I need to beef up on this, the only thing I can think of is when I soak my feet in epsom salts after a hard day on them. I need to take better care of myself. But saying a thing is different than actually doing it, I’ve found.
  18. What are you passionate about?
    I do feel pretty passionate about being a professional in the hospitality career. I more so feel a passion for professionalism, and would like to use this for writing to make money someday if I can!
  19. What is your happiest memory?
    I’m glad for everytime I hugged my Grandma’s neck and told her I loved her and appreciated her. I was also very happy on my birthday this year, it was the best one I’ve had in years with absolutely no tears!!! (Very rare)
  20. What are you grateful for today?
    I love my baby. I am more glad than ever to know he loves me and misses me and can’t get enough of me. I know he’s secretly crazy about me, even when he tries to show me he can do without me. No he can’t. I can’t either 🙂

Let the Healing Begin

I have done something good for myself. I have recognized that it is time to ascend to my second chakra and attend to my other needs. I have established a base, however infirm it is. Now is a period of transformation, an acceptance of change, and I must carry myself with grace.

I wrote a letter on behalf of Johnny this afternoon. That was a more challenging experience than I anticipated.  It was pretty difficult considering I think he’s really a fool no one should bother about. It was sad to talk about him at therapy this morning. Because, that’s right, I ACTUALLY MADE AN APPOINTMENT! That is a sure sign of progress.

I’ve also discovered that

is not a safe place to be right now x_x lol I want so badly to scroll, but I haven’t seen the latest episode of Once Upon a Time yet!!! >__<

Anyways, it’s November, so let us begin the gratitude. I am ever so thankful for…

  1. a working vehicle
  2. a hard working man
  3. anxiety medication
  4. netflix, a means of entertainment
  5. a GOOD PAYING JOB! 😀

Daria Survey Season 5

  • Fizz Ed: What’s your favorite soda?
    Sprite
  • Sappy Anniversary: Have you ever forgotten an important date?
    Sometimes I forget my family member’s birthdays >__>
  • Fat Like Me: Have you ever tried to lose weight?
    I have and it has always been a struggle.
  • Camp Fear: How well do you handle organized activities?
    I’m pretty chill, I always go with the flow.
  • The Story of D: How well do you deal with rejection?
    I try to shrug it off, it happens sometimes.
  • Lucky Strike: Talk about your favorite substitute teacher.
    I can’t recall liking any one in particular =/
  • Art Burn: How much do you value originality?
    Nothing is original, in my opinion. It’s all about a person’s influences and the beauty of their work in the end.
  • One J at a Time: Do you date around, prefer a single partner, or neither?
    I prefer to be in monogamous relationships.
  • Life in the Past Lane: What’s the weirdest experience you’ve had with someone you’ve dated?
    I was dating a poet once and we went to hang out at his brother’s after open mic. He said let me go in ahead of you to make sure it’s okay and I said sure. He came back out and reported to me that his brother had a few friends over, but it would be okay if we joined. I walked into the man cave out back, and lo and behold, my first ex was sitting in the room. He was my date’s brother-in-law’s friend.
  • Aunt Nauseam: Do you get along with your extended family?
    I grew up with them, and now we don’t talk to each other =(
  • Prize Fighters: Have you ever been passed over for something for something you wanted because of a reason you found to be ridiculous?
    No, when I was, it was because my punctuality was called into question and I was admittedly late more often than admissible =/ Learned that lesson the hard way.
  • My Night at Daria’s: Have you ever stayed out too late with a significant other?
    I can remember all the times my first boyfriend and I hung out so late past curfew. We always claimed that he was taking me home early, when in reality we’d told my mom we were watching a movie and we’d be home late. Unaccounted for time in the middle is what we lived for *eyebrow waggle* lol
  • Boxing Daria: What’s a childhood memory that shaped who you are today?
    When I was an adolescent, I lost my grandma. She made me who I am today.
  • Is It College Yet?: What are your plans for the future?
    I’d like to get married and move into a house somewhere. Eventually become foster parents once we become more financially secure a few years down the road.

Survey

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I have a block, probles, and no solutions are forthcoming. I am stuck in a rut.
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? My bf calls me to wake me up, that should count ❤
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Not in the slightest.
4: Do you find it easy to trust others? For the most part.
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? I was at work still.
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? A coworker.
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? I would break up with the person and move out.
8: Are you close with your dad? No, I’m not.
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? My love.
10: What are you listening to? Wildest Dreams -Taylor Swift


11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life – what is it? Arizona Green Tea
12: Do you like hickeys? Ones that can be hidden 😉
13: What time do you go to bed? Never!!
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? My parents.
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Probably not.
16: Do you always answer your texts? Hell no.
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No.
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Actually, today.
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Some of my coworkers.
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? That we were going to bed early
21: Is anyone else in the room with you? My lover.
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Not necessarily.
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? I couldn’t say.
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? All the time.
25: In the past week, have you cried? More than you know.
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Moss Green
27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No, never.
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Well, relations are frosty between female associates at the time, but that’s nothing new. -_- >_>
29: Do you have a best friend? It’s actually probably my mom.
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? I would freak.
31: Who was your last call/text message from? My friend Katie
32: Are you mad at anyone? Bitches at work. Haters gonna hate.


33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? A few
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 38.
35: How many more days until your birthday? 282 days.
36: Do you have any summer plans yet? It’s come and gone, I’ll think about it later.
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? One or two
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? yeah, and that’s not kind of me
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Wouldn’t you like to know?
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? I have, I regret meeting someone.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships? I don’t, it’s about maturity.
42: Are you available? Never.
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 4.
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? A cute nose stud.
45: Do you believe exes can be friends? I definitely do. I always try to remain friends. If we’ve been intimate, I try never to let that go and part on good terms whenever possible.
46: Do you regret anything? Everyone does.
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? The past.
48: Did you ever lose a best friend? I have, I let some people go.
49: Was your last kiss a mistake? No.
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I’m in a relationship and I merely have a crush, nothing to write home about. It will pass.
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? He has caused me to many times.
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Like, the person before Jake? No, I do not. I try to pretend he never happened.
53: What was the last thing you ate? Cereal, it’s GRRREAT!
54: Did you get any compliments today? Yes, I did. Hence my crush, there’s a new guy at work.
55: Where are you going on your next vacation? I will never get a vacation.
56: Do you own anything from other countries? Some gummy bears from Germany
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls.
58: Where have you lived most of your life? Oklahoma
59: When was the last time you took a long drive? My boyfriend had to drive to go to one of my medical appointments. It was nice.
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? I actually haven’t!
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? Yes!
62: Who do you text the most? My mom, or friend Sara
63: What was the last movie you saw?
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Just one.
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Quite older, actually.
67: Do you curse around your parents? Yes, they inspire it in me.
68: Are you happy with where you live? It’s the ghetto, so there’s much to be desired sometimes.
69: Picture of yourself?

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70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I am monogomous by nature but do not reject the notion of open-ended, I’ve done both.
71: Have you ever been dumped? I have.
72: What do you most like about making out? How passionate and intimate it can get
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Yeah.
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? What a difficult question! I had to think about it, but I think they inniated the first kisses for the most part.
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Pecs
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? My mother
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? well I probably knew him MORE than an hour
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope, don’t check that off my list.
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? The song ‘Thinking Out Loud’ and getting married makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.


80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? I don’t think that’s my style. I’ve tried it, but it didn’t work out and seems like an awful lot of a committment.
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yes.
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? I used to, but now that I’m management I can’t afford to.
83: Do you miss your last sweetie? HELL no.
84: Last time you slow danced with someone? At my Grandpa’s fourth wedding
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? I did online dating when I was 15, yeah.
86: How can I win your heart?

Be nerdy, buy me books and comics, read my fanfiction, give me massages and neck kisses & frequent make out sessions
87: What is your astrological sign? Gemini
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Trying to get the fuck home from my job.
89: Do you cook? I heat things up.
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes, I have. I love my old boyfriends, they were really good friends of mine.
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? N/A
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m monogamous but have entertained the idea of polyamory before.
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Taller than me, and not too skinny.
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
– A yellow bug like Emma’s from OUAT
– A magic wand
– A personal trainer
– A therapist
95: Are you a player? No, kthnxbai.
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? I might’ve.
97: Are you a tease? That is ever so fun, hell yes.
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? I haven’t, no. But I’ve become IM buddies with a girl I met through gurl.com on the forum boards. We became good friends. Hi Sarah!
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? A couple of times.
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? There are a lot of girls out there I wouldn’t turn down lol

Survey

1: Happiest memory? I can remember the first time I felt fully and completely in love. I was maybe 16 years old, bidding goodbye to my first teenage love as he went to get in his car and drive home at the end of the night. My heart was flooded with love for him and I thought we’d be high school sweet hearts married and happy one day.
2: Saddest memory? Once, my grandmother said to me that she didn’t know whether or not her daughter (my mom) really loved her or not, because she felt so disrespected. It was the first time my heart ever broke.
3: A moment when you felt the most alone? It would have to be in the moments in the night after I broke up with my last boyfriend. I had no one, and I hated to go home, so I wandered around in my car at nights.
4: Greatest 3 sexual fantasies?

#1 Renting a fancy hotel room, riding in the back of an expensive stretch limousine, and having a fantastic dinner with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries when we return back to the hotel
#2 Foreplay galore for this fantasy- Blind fold me, kiss me all over, put delicious treats or syrups or honey or whip cream on my body and lick me all over. Use ice on me if you want, followed by your tongue.
#3 Be dominant and aggressive and tell me what to do. Might get a little rough, if I’m lucky 😉
5: Greatest hopes/aspirations/dreams? I greatly aspire to be a well-groomed, independent, fun-loving business woman. I want to have my own office and wear skirt pant suits and sexy glasses and heels and be noted for my authority within my realm.
6: What does love feel like to you? Love is glamour. Everyone who is in love is made beautiful by it. Love is wearing beautiful things, going out with the one you love to fancy, candle lit dinners and smiling so much your cheeks hurt. Love is being coveted, adored absolutely. Love is confidence, security, sexy, knowing, kind. Love is getting completely ate up in the other person, wanting to know everything of a person, inside and out. Love is complete devotion, couldn’t ever have it any other way. If you’re bread, I want to be butter to melt into you. Love is breathing a sigh of pleasure. Love is being cared for and doing things for each other out of the kind, gentle spirit of our softened, vulnerable hearts. Love is trust, love is bliss. Love is a leap of joy and faith. Love is wholeness in spirit and in the sheets. Love is crazy. Love is going slowly out of your mind.
7: Do you deal with affection well? Very well! I absolutely love me some P.D.A. ;]
8: How do you deal with stressful situations? I try to withdraw so I can collect my thoughts. It often times help to be isolated in a small, dark room like a closet to help calm myself. Otherwise, I excuse myself to the bathroom for a little privacy.
9: Do you ever catch yourself having a dirty thought about someone you shouldn’t? I used to have thoughts like that more often, but now such carnal temptations are of no use to me.
10: What is it that you fear most?

I fear getting caught with something illegal because of my mother, or her going into prison/jail in general. I also fear for the health of myself and my loved ones and pray that we do not develop diabetes/suffer heart attacks.
11: Who gives you the most strength? My Inner Goddess and desire to strive for a better life

12: You died, what is the after life like?

We create our own heaven, sometimes we may be young and beautiful and flawless or go to a happier time in our lives. I haven’t found Heaven yet but I imagine a strong husband to hold our little child in his arms, and our house living altogether and caring for the two lights of my life. In my heaven, my man knows how much I love him and respects me.

13: You’ve woken up beside your worst enemy, what is your first thought? Well hello self.

14: You’ve woken up beside someone who is not your current lover, what is your first thought?
I think to myself, what the fuck just happened?!? Musta got roofied somehow. I regret my choices.
15: You just found out that you’re pregnant, what do you do?

I freak out, but ultimately decide to keep the baby against my better judgement. I’m not ready for such a thing, but you have to step up to the base if your time arrives.
16: You’ve lost everyone you love, what do you do? Spin into a desperate depression and get heavily into drugs and isolate myself, crying all the time and never seeing the light of day.
17: The weirdest dream you’ve ever had? Once, I dreamt this brother and sister were going to visit their uncle at Gay Camp, like summer camp for gays, and they drove out into the middle of nowhere and there was a tree house of gay midgets wearing bright pink, blue, and purple. They passed the gay tree house and went down the road to a small gathering where a hippie style van painted all over housed their gay uncle, a painfully middle aged white man imitating the style of Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.
18: Share a journal entry.
A Positive Note for You~
When you are left Alone, there is Only You. And when you turn to your inner self, you will truly and finally understand what it is to love yourself. You must, for who can love you if you do not love yourself first? Think about it.
You are your only love who will never leave you. You are the only one is going to look out for what’s best for you, you are the only one who knows what you need and recognizes what it is that you truly want. Only you can deliver your truest pleasures, to thine own self be true. Only by accepting everything you are and are not, can you seize the opportunity for yourself to steal great happiness in life.
It is all about stopping talking bad to yourself. You would not speak that way to others, so why do you permit yourself to speak that way to yourself? You cannot be a victim, you are strong, you have all the weapons you need. We are all each of us born with certain traits and qualities and our job in life is to learn how to best employ them. If you squander your gift, now what kind of life have you chosen to live…?
19: Time is…. an endless march towards death & certain demise, the one thing that connects us all.
20: Pain is…. inevitable, but suffering is optional.
21: What are your most favorite memories of your past relationship with... Elizabeth, she and I used to walk the sidewalks of Yukon and visit the park, having deep talks.
22: What is something you wish you had right now?

I wish I had the doughiest, cheesiest pizza there ever was.
23: What do you hide on a daily basis from the ones you love? My depression and the fact that I’m seeing a therapist
24: Would you sneak around with someone your family despised? I don’t think I have the moxie to, because I might become afraid I’d get attached to the person and could no longer keep them a secret. And relationships shouldn’t be like dirty secrets, imo.
25: It’s the full moon, you have bitten an innocent, how do you deal with what you have done? I would most likely collapse onto my knees in the moonlit rain pouring down in my face as tears of blood stream down my face and I scream my agony into the night and lightning strikes.

Survey Fun

  • 1: What is your name and does it mean anything? Lacy, and no not in particular.
  • 2: How long have you known your best friend? Since I was 14, so 10 years.
  • 3: What position do you normally sleep in? On my right side with an arm under me and one leg curled up
  • 4: Were you a part of any “clique” in high school? The geeky one
  • 5: Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why? Mr. Thomas, my geometry teacher because he was the only teacher that cared to ask me if I was alright the year my life sucked the most.
  • 6: Do you wish to travel a lot? Not particularly.
  • 7: Did you participate in any sports while in school? I sure did not.
  • 8: Show a sample of your writing:

There was this babe lying there in the sun on the beach. And by babe, he meant this long-legged beautiful creature lounging on a florid beach towel. She lay exposed to the sun in her bikini, her body tan and muscular in all its splendor. Tiny beads of moisture shined on her flat stomach. When his eyes reached her dark head, he discovered her to be wearing dark sunglasses concealing her eyes, giving her a mysterious stranger aura and the sensual, satisfied smile on her face below the dark lenses welcomed the most entertaining thoughts.
If there were any day he could’ve been a ray of sunshine, he would have chose today, if only for the privilege to drape himself over that woman’s body as comfortably as the sun settled on her now.

  • 9: Have you ever given blood? No thnx.
  • 10: Do you like the way that you grew up? It was fine, I didn’t mind not having a dad around. He wasn’t around to miss.
  • 11: Do you like your siblings? Why or why not? I don’t have any.
  • 12: How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends? We met our freshman year of highschool in english class. We became best friends our sophomore year when I started going to her house after school to have her help me with my geometry homework.
  • 13: Name one movie that made you cry. My Girl gets me everytime.
  • 14: Do you prefer to read poetry, write poetry, or neither? I prefer to read poetry and write prose.
  • 15: Things about someone that you find attractive? I find my boyfriend’s wide, ex-football player physique, thick neck,strong jaw, and big arms and hands all extremely attractive, he is so masculine it is enough to get me going alright 😉
  • 16: What song are you currently listening to? Of Monsters and Men – Little Talks
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I
  • 17: Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how? N/A, I am a lucky duck. Busted my head open a few times tho.
  • 18: A random memory from you childhood: Head lice was like the plague in our neighborhood growing up, I can remember us publicly shaming one of the neighbor girls because she wanted to swim with us but the mother of the kids who owned the pool wouldn’t allow any of us in until we passed her test, and the fat red faced little girl China had to walk away in shame when the neighbor lady sent her home because she was the only one with lice.
  • 19: Where did you grow up? In a normal neighborhood with not really any crime with a couple kids my age
  • 20: What was the last thing you watched on tv? I am currently watching Daria.
  • 21: Do you think you’d make a good parent? Theoretically, yes, I do.
  • 22: Would you like to meet any of your Tumblr friends in person? I don’t have any tumblr friends anymore 😦
  • 22: What was the last dream you remember having? Directly from my dreamjournal-Bribery
    To dream that you are bribing someone indicates that you expect too much of others. You may be too demanding. In particular, if you dream that you are bribing a policeman, then you believe that you are above the law or rules. You think you can get away with being dishonest and deceitful.

    Drugs
    To dream that you are in possession of or taking drugs, signifies your need for a “quick fix” or an escape from reality. You may be turning to a potentially harmful alternative as an instant escape from your problems. Ask yourself why you need the drugs. What do you hope the drugs will achieve for you?

    Grandparents
    To see your grandparents in your dream symbolize love, security, wisdom and protection

    Hiding
    To dream that you are hiding suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher…) implies feelings of guilt.

    House
    If you see messy and/or dilapidated houses in your dream, then it implies that an aspect of your own life is in chaos. You may be suffering from some emotional or psychological clutter. You need to release these feelings in order to regain control.

    To dream that your house is broken into suggests that you are feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some subconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are some aspects of yourself that you have denied.

    To dream that you are inside a stranger’s house indicates that there is something that you have yet to discover about yourself. It may mean that there are repressed memories, fears or emotions that you are not confronting.
    To dream of a dirty or messing room refers to an aspect of yourself that you are ashamed of or are refusing to acknowledge.

    Houseguest
    If you dream of an unwanted houseguest, then it indicates a realization that you are being taken advantage of in some area of your life.

    Marijuanna
    To dream that you are using marijuana implies that you are trying to escape reality. Perhaps you are trying to numb some emotional or psychological pain. Perhaps you feel that your identity and sense of self is being compromised or disrespected. It denotes a loss of control. You are trying desperately to escape. The dream may also be a reflection of waking drug use.
    To see or smell marijuana in your dream suggests that you are experiencing an expanded sense of awareness and consciousness. You need to take advantage and draw insight from this new consciousness. The dream may also mean that you need to look on your inner strength for stimulation instead of relying on outside forces.

    Panic
    To dream that you are in a panic indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You are feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

    Raid
    To dream that you are in a raid represents your fears that some hidden aspect of your life will be discovered or made public

  • 23: When is your birthday? June 16th.
  • 24: How many pillows do you sleep with? About four or five, or one big hunky one 😉
  • 25: Do you wear glasses? If so, how long have you been wearing glasses? I do, and I have since I was 12 or so.
  • 26: What color is your hair? Dark brown, long.
  • 27: Name 5 facts about your appearance:-I have a nice smile, and I smile a lot.
    -I am 5’4″ and have been since middle school.
    -I have large breasts that are hard to ignore.
    -I have luxuriously awesome thick hair that I like to straighten into a sleek shine.
    -I am overweight and have bad posture.
  • 28: What is your favorite soda? I don’t like soda.
  • 29: What is a strange talent that you have? I’m double jointed in the fingers.
  • 30: How’s the weather right now? Dandy.
  • 31: Why did one of your friendships end? I found them boring. Them’s the breaks sometimes.
  • 32: Who do you miss right now? Sometimes I miss my ex, but only because I miss the dating style we had, which was more active than the current relationship I am in.
  • 33: Why did your last relationship end? My last relationship ended because he was a weight dragging me down, keeping me from succeeding in life.
  • 34: Are you still figuring out who you are? Most definitely.
  • 35: Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Why? I’ve been to the emergency room for a severe allergic reaction to poison ivy but I have never been admitted, no.
  • 36: What is your favorite restaurant? It’s probably Park Harvey Sushi Bar and Grill, or else Zio’s or Italian food.
  • 37: What is a word that you always seem to spell wrong? judging
  • 38: Would ever adopt kids? Yes, actually, I think I could/would.
  • 39: What is your favorite kind of pizza? Alfredo pizza, Canadian bacon pizza.
  • 40: What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? “I’m siiiiiiiick.”
  • 41: When was the last time you got really really happy and why? I was immensely happy the other night lying down in bed with my lover. I was talking about how much I love and trust him and how lucky I am to have him, that he’s my one and only, and I would follow him anywhere. ❤
  • 42: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Perhaps squid???
  • 43: How do you start a conversation? Randomly, easily, with a question.
  • 44: What’s a band you’ve been obsessed with lately? Not band, but Lily Allen’s stuff has been captivating me here lately.
  • 45: Do you come from a family “of money?” Hell naw, we’re middle to lower middle class.
  • 46: Do you have a bucket list? I do, but it’s been some time since I looked at it.
  • 47: What is your favorite series of books? Harry Potter
  • 48: When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt? Earlier this year, can’t remember why though.
  • 49: Where do you go when you’re sad? The OKC Murrah Bombing Memorial, it is so peaceful there.
  • 50: 5 random facts about yourself:-I am seeing a therapist without the knowledge of my family.
    -I live with a man 13 years my senior and we have been dating 7 months, and he wants to marry me.
    -I secretly think about marrying him more often than I let on.
    -I obsessively listen to songs, and read and watch certain TV shows, often times playing them on loop forever.
    -Gone with the Wind is my absolute favorite book ever.