Postsecret of the week:
Being with Jake always has been and always will be full of trials and tribulations. Jake is a complicated guy. Jacob has suffered a nontraditional upbringing and had to basically raise himself, when he wasn’t floating here or there in the foster system. His father was hooked on drugs all his life. His father was also blind and never worked. Jake and his siblings often times went without while their father used all their money for drugs. They lived in shitty motels, getting kicked out constantly, or their lives constantly put in danger because of their father’s shady friends. He was in and out of jail constantly, and Jake stayed with different family members all over and the foster care system as well.
His sister once commented to me that coming from what they do, it’s difficult for them to trust and be with someone, and I completely understand what she was saying. Jake isn’t perfect, but I love him. He’s so not perfect that the other night last week, I came home from work ONE HOUR LATE and for about two and a half days after, he treated me like shit saying I’m an untrustworthy hoe, or at least he might as well have said it. He kept reminding me of my previous transgressions against him, saying, “Why would I want to marry someone I know can do something like that?” UGH. I NEVER CHEATED, CHILLAX BRO. *rolls eyes* We’ve actually been getting along super well for like 3-4 months now, so I don’t know what the fuck crawled up his ass all of a sudden.
He reminds me of my mother, actually, because he’s very hard to please. But I have chosen Jake so far in life because he is always trying to shape me into something better, more focused, more mature. He is always encouraging me to be the best that I can be, rather than lazy or immature or irresponsible. He makes us make responsible, good decisions even when I drag my feet or don’t see the wisdom immediately.
Right now Jake is desperate to get me to buy a house I don’t really want. I thought it was too small, and I hate the fact that it is in Moore off the high way. I feel like we are asking for it, but Jake has promised me he will get us a storm shelter right away. I made him promise I have to have it within 6 months of moving in. It’s my compromise for living in Moore, which I absolutely do not want to do. Jake always gets impatient with my concerns, saying that he wants to live somewhere it’s safe to walk down the street. He’s not concerned about tornadoes, but I sure the fuck am!!!
It makes me feel trivialized how he bats my concerns to the side. He gets downright impatient and mean when I bring them up. He’s like, “It’s Oklahoma, there’s risk of tornado anywhere you move!!” and I want to yell at him: “OK, sure, but why the fuck do we have to move to the place on the map that they almost ALWAYS go WITHOUT FAIL????” *cries in frustration* I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN MOORE, I WISH JAKE WOULD LISTEN TO ME.
p.s. update on the job front
lol I had no reason to trip over Veronica. She never even showed for her interview. I was like MENTAL HIGH FIVE when my boss told me 😀 😀 😀